Thursday, April 26, 2012

My Restructuring Plan -- The Montana Option

Meeting with the Great Basin Bishops in Salt Lake City has been an inspiration. My staff sometimes fret that I do not "have a vision." Well now I do. It came to me yesterday morning while tramping around the Temple and it's environs.

Episcopalians are always telling me how we need to emulate the Baptists and the mega-churches because they are so successful. But the mega-churches lose people as fast as the bring them in and the Baptists have lost more people in recent years than our entire membership. Who is actually "successful?" Our LDS brothers and sisters. They are doing quite well.

So here's the plan. Instead of redirecting a paltry few million dollars from overhead to mission in our operating budget, let's make a real adaptive change. First, sell everything. I mean everything -- the offices at 815, John the Divine, the Washington Cathedral, All Saints Pasadena -- just for starters, then our houses and jet skis. We can keep cars and golf clubs. Nothing radical here. Anglican moderation at every step.

Then we all move to Montana -- over a million of us -- elect the public officials, establish an Anglican cultural enclave, become the regional version of normal, build a huge Cathedral and complex of edifices, then invest the rest of our money in p r and supporting Episcopal Youth Service Corps all over the country. Slowly but surely, plant little Montanas all over the USA.

Now here's our niche. The LDS already has a lock on genealogy. We cannot compete with that but we can complement it. Instead of a family history library we hire a crack team of psychics and futurists to staff our family future library. People will go to Salt Lake to learn about their ancestors, then on to Helena to learn about their descendants,

Finally, we replace Hyfrydol and some of our other boring music with a new theme song. "Turn Me Loose Set Me Free Somewhere In The Middle Of Montana." Now the scary part: I am on the structure committee for General Convention. Beware of mad men in high places.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

10 comments:

Agnikan said...

This is madness.

No, this is Montana.

rrchapman said...

What is it about bishops from Nevada?

rebecca jean said...

The funny thing is, my friends and I were chatting about having an Episcopal Mega church and community the size of Montana a while back. then I got a link to your blog post with a note that said 'Who let the BFC idea break?" haha

Fr. Interim said...

All good except the part about Montana - too cold! Let's take over Nevada instead - variety of climates,lots of open territory, and plenty of entertainment when we just want to kick back and relax! Really nice people and good prices on housing. You go, Bishop Dan!

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