Therefore encourage one another . . .. Live in
peace with each other . . .. Encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be
patient with everyone.
I Thessalonians
5: 11-14
Grace and peace to you from
God our Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ.
What is the temperament of
your congregation? By “temperament,” I mean a habitual mood, a pattern of
acting, a spiritual default setting. Just as individuals have temperaments, so
too do congregations. Congregations have lots of feelings running about in them
and various people behave in various ways. But the group has a basic was of
being. Individuals have a lot of feelings in any given day, sometimes several
feelings at the same time. But the individual has a basic temperament. It is
the same with a congregation.
Just as some individual
temperaments are attractive and others not, the same is true of congregational
temperaments. Just as the temperaments of some individuals make them healers or
leaders or friends, the same is true of congregations. There are people we
gravitate toward when we need consolation or inspiration. Other people we flee from like the plague
when we are a bit fragile. So what is your congregation’s temperament?
Often people describe their
Church as “a friendly, caring family.” Sociologists have actually studied
churches that describe themselves that way. They are the hardest congregations
to break into, the least likely to grow, and the most likely to be
dysfunctional. I interpret that to mean congregations that deflect the question
of “what is your temperament?” with a cliché are the least self-aware.
Nothing is more important to
a congregation’s life than its temperament (mood, behavior, default setting).
People will come to a congregation or run away lickety split for their own
survival depending on the congregational temperament. It isn’t the cool clergy.
It isn’t the programs. Those things may bring visitors. But membership
decisions depend on the feel of the place. Whether the congregation lives out
the gospel and shows Jesus to the world on the one hand or discredits the faith
on the other depends on the congregational temperament.
Each congregation’s
temperament is unique. It’s much more complicated than good or bad. I have
known hopeful, generous congregations; resilient, determined, rock-ribbed
congregations; and prayerful, contemplative, reflective congregations – to name
a few on the upside. I have also known congregations beset with a spirit of
crankiness; others inclined to obstreperousness, hysteria, panic-based blame-shifting,
and any number of traits that repel rather than attract and do not bespeak
faith, hope, and love.
The temperament of a
congregation, over time, affects the personalities of the members. Cranky
congregations do not so much attract cranks as breed them. Prayerful
congregations instill prayer in their members. Serving others is a habit one
can pick up at a servant ministry congregation. To belong to a congregation is
to expose oneself to the risk of becoming like that congregation. That is why people
choose their congregations carefully. And it is why many of the “nones” and
“dones” today keep their distance. Sometimes they are avoiding the spiritual
damage that congregations inflict all too often. See this Post Traumatic Church
Syndrome Facebook page for an encounter with the wounded veterans of church
life. It is an eye-opener. https://www.facebook.com/groups/PTCSgroup/
A lot goes into shaping a
congregation’s temperament. History is a powerful influence. Each member is apt
to bring to the congregation the patterns of feeling and behavior from his or
her own family. The surrounding culture has an influence. But there are a few
even stronger factors.
Clergy. The clergy do not singlehandedly set the tone of the congregation
but they have more potential to influence the tone than anyone else. Yes, I
know this is Nevada, we are anti-clerical, and we don’t have much use for I
Thessalonians 5: 12-13, “Acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care
for you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in
love because of their work.” But like it or not, if someone celebrates the
sacraments, preaches the word, offers spiritual guidance, and extends pastoral
care in our times of need, we are apt to catch a bit of their mood. The moral
of this point is for clergy. It is good for you to know things, good for you to
do the liturgy well, etc. But the most important thing is not what you do but how you do it. “Knowledge puffs up but love builds up.” I
Corinthians 8: 1. “Be the change you want to see” in your congregation.
Covenant. Next, each congregation has a basic agreement on what they are here
to do and how they are to do it. That agreement is usually implicit, unstated,
and unconscious. It may be a good
agreement or a bad agreement. But the very unconsciousness of it is a problem.
It is so, so, so profoundly important for a congregation to intentionally
reflect on “what we are about” periodically. The transition process as a parish
prepares to call a new priest is, for many congregations, the only time they
ever do the congregational equivalent of an “examination of conscience.” (St.
Ignatius of Loyola) Some resist self-examination even then. When there are long
rectorates or where the ministry model does not involve calling priests from
outside the congregation, the result is that some congregations rarely check
their spiritual blood pressure. If an annual check up is in order for our
physical bodies and a daily check up is in order for individual souls, a
congregation that has gone five years without some serious reflection is on
thin ice. We need to be clear on what we
are here to do and how God has empowered us to do it.
Individual. Each individual member of a congregation makes a contribution to
the spirit of the group. The look on your face, the tone of your voice, the
words you choose, your willingness of set aside your own agenda – or not – all
nudge the congregational temperament one way or another. To participate in a
congregation is a spiritual discipline. At weddings, we often read Paul’s Hymn
to Love (I Corinthians 13). I encourage
you to read back over it now but first remember that blessed Paul is not
talking about how to live in a marriage. He’s talking about how to live in a congregation!!
Now here’s a little
liturgical hint. Our clergy are appropriately focused on how we do the rituals.
One part of the ritual that some of them get exercised about is the Exchange of
the Peace. Their concern is that some congregations treat it as an occasion for
socializing. The purpose of the ritual is a bit different.
Now let me be clear. I have
no dog in this fight. There are perfectly good arguments on both sides. But the
clergy are right that we should not miss the point of the ritual. It is from
Matthew 5: 23, which says if you are about to present your gift at the altar
(which at that point in the service we are), and we recall that there is some
grievance between ourselves and someone else, we should go first to that person
and set the grievance aside. In the ritual, we have just received absolution,
just been forgiven for our sins. Jesus is emphatic that those who have been
forgiven are obliged to forgive each other. Matthew 18: 23-35. We who have just
been forgiven forgive each other in the Exchange of the Peace. We may or may
not like the person we are exchanging the peace with -- but it doesn’t matter.
Ritually we represent each other’s worst enemies. Ritually, we are laying down
our grudges in order to purify our hearts before placing them on the altar of
God at the next step in the liturgy, the offertory.
Now what does that have to do
with how individual church members contribute to the congregational
temperament? Just this: The Exchange of the Peace is not just the 7th
Inning Stretch. It’s a spiritual exercise, one of many. The Church is a
spiritual gymnasium. Clergy, spiritual directors, etc. are like trainers. We
are there to work out. The Church is a place to practice (as in to do it over and over until we get it right) certain
virtues.
How should we behave in
Church life if we want to grow into the likeness of Christ?[i] Short but demanding answer: read the New Testament. Every page is about the
answer. But Paul says it most clearly and most directly. It was the subject of
most of his Epistles starting with the first one. He said:
Therefore encourage
one another and build each other up . . ..
Warn those who are idle and disruptive,
encourage the disheartened, help the
weak, be patient with everyone. Be sure
that no one pays back wrong for wrong, but
always strive to do good for each other and for everyone else. Rejoice always, pray
continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you
in Christ Jesus. – I Thessalonians 5: 11-16
Does that sound like a tall
order? It is. Impossibly so. That is why we need each other to do any part of
it. Even then, it is an aspiration. “Ah but (our) reach should exceed (our)
grasp or what’s a heaven for?” Robert Browning.
I love to see self-aware
congregations growing in grace through the hard discipline of being the Body of
Christ together. I love it when people get past wanting the Church to suit
their taste or give them their way because they have discovered there is a
gospel to proclaim and there is a Kingdom Mission to accomplish.
If we are honest about the
temperament of our congregation, we will probably find some grace and mercy there.
I have never known a Christian congregation that was not the receptacle of some
blessing. We will also probably find some traits that fall short of the glory
of God. There is a cure for those failings. It is the gospel of Jesus lived out
in the Biblical way. For example,
If anyone is caught in a transgression, you who
are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness . . .. Bear one
another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ. – Galatians 6: 1-2.
Over the years I have read
many a book and gone to many a workshop on group processes and how to be a
healthy, dynamic, life-giving congregation as opposed to (shall we say to be
charitable) the other kind. After all that reading and study, I have stumbled
upon the best guide yet: the New Testament. If we read, mark, and (most
importantly) inwardly digest God’s word to us, it will change how we are with
each other in Church, which will change how we are with each other outside
Church, which will change who we are inside.
[i]
Christification, growing into the fullness of Christ, is actually the point of
this whole Christian project. Ephesians 4: 13. It’s about who we become over
the course of eternity, not the temperature setting on our room in the
afterlife.