“Who are you really wanderer?”
“Your job is to find what the world is trying to be.”
-- William Stafford
I have been blessed to serve
in Nevada these seven years now. (Consecrated January 5, 2008). It may not have
been quite as dramatic as Heinrich Harrer’s time in Tibet, but it has been
quite a ride. I have seen a lot, heard a lot, and learned a lot. To quote
President Nixon’s Press Secretary, Ron Zeigler, “Mistakes were made” – in this
case, by me. But the mistakes were part of my learning.
It would be ego gratifying if
I could say the diocese was in shambles then but thanks to my heroic virtues we
are now flourishing. The truth is the diocese was in pretty good shape in those
days, even though it had some struggles. Today, we are still in good shape and
we still have some struggles, just different struggles.
There are some positive signs.
When I first arrived, a number of congregations were in the midst of rather
destructive conflicts – clergy vs. laity; clergy vs. clergy; laity vs. laity –
depending on the congregation. We still have conflicts. We always will if there
is enough life in us to care about things. But I rarely see conflicts being that
destructive these days. Note: that has nothing to do with me. I have not
intervened episcopos ex machina to resolve
anyone’s disputes. The people just worked them through and got back to
business. I am not claiming credit, just comparing then with now.
In a similar vein,
congregations in conflict with the diocese were usually in conflict internally
and vice versa. So as relationships within congregations have gotten better,
their relationship with the diocese has gotten more trusting and cooperative.
As we have feuded less, we
have engaged more actively in mission to the world outside our walls. We have
particularly connected with schools. Last year most of our congregations gave
generously to provide solar lanterns to our companion diocese in Kenya. Some
congregations that formerly made a principle of not giving anything to their
communities are now leaders in local ministries.
I won’t do a tedious
assessment of the diocese. Rather I’ll just say that Nevada’s been good to me
and I am beginning to figure a few things out. It is an axiom of church life
that a new rector needs to spend five years in a parish getting the lay of the
land before launching off in any new directions. I’d say it takes a bishop at
least seven years to get the lay of the land. I am not sure I have it yet, but
I’m closer than I was a few years ago.
I still don’t aspire to
launch off in any new directions. I am still looking for where our heart
actually lies. Like the poet William Stafford, I think my job is to “find out
what the world wants to be.” Part of that is sorting out what the church here
is trying to be. Part of it is figuring out what the people outside our walls
need us to be. Discerning all of that will take some ongoing trial and error.
My sense is that the
stewardship programs we have been running for a couple of years have struck a
chord. They have touched our felt need for a spirituality of faith, gratitude,
and generosity that run quite against the grain to secular society’s prevailing
fear-based modus operandi. Time will
tell whether a meme of faith, gratitude, and generosity will spread thorugh our
people blessing their lives and making them blessings to others. It is
possible. Something like that appears to be beginning even now.
I see so much alienation,
futility, and despair in the secular world around us. I feel like Jesus looking
on the crowd who were “harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” Matthew
9: 36 And I wonder if the Church (the Body of Christ, the continuing
Incarnation, the hands and feet of Jesus in Nevada AD 2015) might have
something to offer them. We feel competent to feed the physically hungry. But
do we feel that we have anything to offer to the spiritually hungry? That is a
fresh question I am asking these days. If we have life within us, if we have
something that stills the mind, refreshes the heart, and ennobles the soul,
then we might consider how to go about sharing it with those who do not yet
have it. If we do not have these spiritual treasures, that is a much deeper
question.
There is an adage in
spiritual practice: you can’t give what
you don’t have. So if we don’t have a rich soulful life in the practice of
our faith, we cannot do much for the despairing folks outside our walls. But
there’s another adage equally true in Christianity: you don’t really have it until you’ve shared it with someone else. I
wonder if really opening wide the doors of our churches will allow us to
breathe.
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